Midlife Memoirs

Two Down

OK...for the record, things seem to be OK.

The lesion on my lung has improved slightly - next scan in 6-9 months. (The doc want's me to remind him - ha!)

Minor surgery Monday went well. Turns out I had a fibroid (normal,usually benign) growing in the wall near my urethra (not normal). I know this falls into the category of TMI, but how else do I explain it? We still need to deal with results of testing, but not nearly as scared anymore.

I do wish they hadn't roughed up my throat so much during surgery... I am recovering, as is Steve.

Thanks for all the prayers and support.

Getting Real

I had another test today - an MRI. A few weeks ago I discovered a lump near my urethra while prepping for an exam. I have surgery scheduled for August 10th and it shouldn't be a big deal. They are going to do some other diagnostic tests at the same time - a two for one. I still have another pre-op ultrasound later this week.

Tomorrow I have a second CT scan of my lungs. A normal check-up in some senses, but I have been having trouble with a raspy voice of late. This is the test I want to have the least - not wanting them to find something wrong.

And then there's the abdominal pain I've had since the pancreatitis. It still lingers, though a slew of blood tests all came back normal. I guess this can wait until after the surgery and lung questions are dealt with.

This is all becoming very real to me and I am scared. Sometimes I feel like I am falling apart, other times I feel like this is just another blip in my life. I've overcome so much to get to where I am, what's one more thing? I don't want to die - not yet.

Dumbfounded

I am at a loss for words; what is the proper reaction to what I just witnessed?

We live across an alley (pedestrian walkway) from low income housing. One of our neighbors there has a habit of playing the TV really loudly - sometimes overnight. Tonight they were being particularly loud, so I called the non-emergency number for the police.

Naturally, by the time the police arrived, the noise was down. Still, I showed them which apartment it was coming from. They shined a light to identify which apartment and in doing so, of course, they got the attention of the woman who lives there.

She came to the window, and not knowing it was the police (they didn't identify themselves as such) proceeded to be somewhat combative with them verbally.(what are you- bored?; I'll make noise if I want too; etc) Eventually she realized who they were, though I don't think it really made a difference.

As they were leaving one of the policemen referred to the woman as "ignernt" and his partner agreed. (He was white, his partner Hispanic, the woman black.) I was really floored by this comment.

The woman was definitely out of line with her noise and comments, but his tone seemed so clearly derogatory towards her as a person and not her actions.

In a way, I felt ashamed, and could somehow understand where some of the claims of racial profiling come from. I definitely need some time to process this.

Relieved

Well, I dodged another health crisis bullet.

The "non specific" area that they found in my right lung appears to be inflammation caused by a bone spur on one of my vertebrae. The pulmonary doc is checking with the radiologist, but it seems to be the same size as the spur and is directly opposite it. There is no pain involved, so it's just a matter of identifying it for future reference.

Steve and I are both relieved (-:

Stay Tuned

My next appointment is Thursday at 9am with pulmonary specialist.

Not much else going on, other than the mundane daily tasks of laundry, knitting, weaving, and cleaning.

Update

I saw my doctor today. The CT scan showed a 3.8 cm "nonspecific" area in the lower lobe of my right lung. This could be pneumonia, TB, or cancer. I've been referred to a specialist and hope to have an appointment in the next week or so.

(If it really was originally 2 cm and is now 3.8 cm, that is good news rather than bad. Since we don't know for sure, more testing will follow.)

Steve and I are both doing OK right now. We've been talking about the situation and adjusting our priorities and future plans - whatever the outcome of this might be.

Another Bullet

I've been dodging medical bullets of late. So far I have managed to stay diabetes free, despite it running in my family (maternal side). I take blood pressure medication because my dad died of a stroke. (Fortunately, my blood pressure is only just over the limit.)

Back in September/October there was a brief moment of panic when I had a breast biopsy. It turned out to be benign and a normal part of the aging process.

The latest bullet is a bit scarier. While I was in the hospital with pancreatitis last week, (probably caused by medication), they did a number of scans of my abdomen. One of the scans caught the edge of a 2cm nodule on my right lung.

I had a CT scan of my chest today. Now we wait.

44 Days and Counting

When Lent came around this year, I decided to give up TV News and then added soda to the list.

Lent is over, but I have found I lost my taste for soda - it tastes like fizzy chemicals to me now.  The small 20oz bottle I bought on Easter has been sitting half empty in the fridge for most of the week. Every now and again I will take a sip to see if it really is that awful (it is), the put it back. I haven't gotten around to actually throwing it away...yet.

I've grown to love SoBe Lean cranberry grapefruit, and the occasional cranapple or other beverage, in addition to water. I don't really miss soda at all.

I turned the news on briefly the other day and quickly changed channels. I'm not particularly interested in the minute, sensational details of the kidnap and murder of a little girl. The situation is sad enough without all the hoopla. The stuff I am interested doesn't show up on local stations, for the most part, and cable is loathe to actually give you real international news. If something really important comes up, Steve tells me about it.

My life is also a lot less stressed and not so depressing, since I am unaware of a lot that is going on locally. Do I miss the news? Not really - I can always read it on my computer. I am still looking for a good general world-focused news program that I can record on TV.

Wonder if I can keep my room clean for the next 40 Days...

21 Years

If you are reading this on March 19th, then we are in Boston, celebrating our anniversary. (-:

Accidental Kindle

I never planned to get a Kindle. It was on Steve's list of things to get, not mine. When his showed up, I looked at it, played with it for a few minutes, then returned it to him. That should have been the end of things.

Last week, I snagged the Kindle from Steve when I stopped by his office, and took it with me on MUNI. Had a lot of fun.

That was the same day that Amazon had decided to replace Steve's Kindle 2 after it had frozen. By the time he was able to isolate the problem as a corrupted file, and not the Kindle itself, the replacement was already on the truck to us.

Solution: buy it...for me (-:

My Kindle 2 arrived yesterday. My favorite feature: adjustable font size.